The Info Flipper

Business Relationship Building - Handling “Sticky” Situations with Clients and Peers

Posted by admin on April 21st, 2008 — Posted in World Of Psychology

Recently a friend of mine, who is also a member of an active discussion group to which I belong, asked us all for advice. He had a contract for a three-week school program for which he planned to take off time from his regular employment. What he hadn’t known at the time the three-week commitment was made was that he would be receiving a promotion in the company of his regular employ that would not only mean a better income for him and his family, but also many more hours of work and no chance of being able to take off three weeks.

He felt terrible and guilty, but knew that he would have to “face the music” so to speak. He found a fine substitute for his program and then contacted the teacher with whom he had made his initial contract and was dismayed by her reaction to his dilemma. As you might imagine, this well meaning man stirred up a variety of feelings among the discussion group members.

The numerous interchanges made me consider what went wrong and what might have been a more workable solution. But, most of all, it reinforced the importance of realizing that there are three sides to every situation - my side, your side, and the real side, somewhere in the middle. Following are some of my thoughts and opinions on ways to handle sticky situations with clients - and all others, for that matter.

Start by dealing with your emotions. When the teacher was informed of the change, it appears that she overreacted and sent my friend an e-mail accusing him of “non-professional” behavior. This is when he overreacted and told us all the story, including references to “sleepless nights” his “22 days and nights” working away from his family due to the extra work of the new position. Now, I am not passing any judgment because I only heard one side of the story.

Many others in our group, however, reacted - because they respect and know my friend well - with a number of critical remarks about the unreasonable and “hardened” teacher. Then a couple of group members tried to look at the whole situation from the teacher’s point of view, and everyone became even more emotional. It is so natural for us to let feelings - especially if we have a passion for what we do - take over. This whole scenario caused angry words among the members of our usually congenial group. And, it most certainly didn’t solve anyone’s problems.

Many in our group condemned the teacher and suggested that my friend talk to the principal. Personally, I felt that this might worsen what was already a far from perfect solution. I guess that I might have apologized profusely to the teacher in question - even in person - and admitted that I was the one in the wrong.

I realize that we all have our side of the story. Yet, if we take time to put ourselves into the other side, our relationships will grow instead of shattering.

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It Ain’t Easy Being Brave

Posted by admin on April 17th, 2008 — Posted in World Of Psychology

A zoo attendant entered a lion cage carrying only a broom. He casually swept with no concern for the wild animal. He even poked the big cat with his broom. The lion hissed at him and moved to another corner of the enclosure. An onlooker remarked “You certainly are brave.” The sweeping man chuckled and said, “I ain’t brave, that old cat ain’t got no teeth.”

In situations where there’s not much danger, bravery comes easily. However, most of us face some very scary stuff. Having a sick child or losing your home, your income, your health, or your spouse can be terrifying. In circumstances like these, we can feel alone and vulnerable.

Children who feel that way curl up with a soft blanket or a cuddly teddy bear and feel more secure. But what can adults with big problems cling to? We need more than a piece of cloth or a toy to calm our fears.

When I’m scared, there are two sayings I like to remember: “To be afraid is to believe in evil more than you believe in God,” and “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”

Many people think being brave means having no fear, but courage is actually continuing on, in spite of fear. Those who believe that God is ultimately in control can trust Him to do the worrying.

When facing fear, if we don’t turn to God, we’re missing out. He can provide the courage we need. “Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”

(Psalm 31:24).

I taught my grandson this Bible verse: “When I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” (Psalm 56:3) We sing it at bedtime to calm his fear of closet monsters, but this simple verse applies to my adult-sized fears as well. When anxiety descends like a heavy fog, these nine words can release fear’s choke hold.

When the lions in life bare their teeth, I tell God my worries. Then I put my hope in Him. Remembering that He’s with me calms my anxious thoughts. Revelation 5:5 says Jesus is the Lion from the tribe of Judah. A lion may be the king of the jungle, but Jesus is the king of kings. (Revelation 19:16) He is strong and mighty. He is never afraid. He is greater than the lions.

Author Marsha Jordan is founder of a nonprofit charity called Hugs and Hope for Sick Children (http://www.hugsandhope.org). More of her articles on depression are in her book, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter, a compilation of essays illustrated with drawings by critically ill children. Filled with hilarious commentary and practical tips for coping with life’s hardships, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter brings hope to the hurting and would make a great gift for anyone who could use a pick me up. Best of all, proceeds will benefit the sick kids of The Hugs and Hope Club (http://www.hugsandhope.org). Other similar essays in the book include, “More Than I Can Handle,” “Ten Tips For Beating Depression,” “Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayer?” and “What Did I Do To Deserve This?”

To order a book or to learn more, visit http://www.hugsandhope.org/book.htm

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